My Reason…

We had “Fall Family Photos” a bit ago–I’ve had a lot of time to seriously reflect on my life with all of the “rest” that I have been ordered to “get”.  I really need to slow down, be patient, love more, laugh even more and learn to step away from the computer.  The people in this picture–this is my life.  We all won’t be on this Earth forever–my life was almost cut short 2 years ago after the birth of my oldest when I almost bled to death–but God had other plans for me.

I have found myself “muddling” my life with junk and not filling it with Beautiful Purpose.  I’m making some BIG changes!  Taking better care of myself, starting a Hobby, focusing on this beautiful family that God Blessed me with!  Sometimes it’s takes BIG drama to cause to really look hard at ourselves and the life we are living.

Crap Rap…

Hola–yep I’ve been M.I.A…and it’s been good for nothin’.

I had to have emergency surgery–my right ovary ruptured and my fallopian tube and ovary were removed.  BEFORE all of that I had a double kidney infection and a “RIP ROARIN'” uti–both of which I am STILL currently battling!

I don’t even feel human right now, I’ve been living in my Fat Pants, my wifely house “chores” have been taken over by my mother (God Love her–she’s a flippin’ Saint–but I can’t find a blasted thing in my kitchen), I haven’t been able to pick up my girls in over a week.  I’m over it!  One thing I have found–if you ever want to catch up on all of the sleep that you “misplaced” after children–just go to the hospital.  Yes, it’s unfortunate that you have to have physical harm to your body in order to get sleep–and it’s unfortunate that all of this has occurred and this surely isn’t for the faint of heart–but man have I slept!! I mean I have become a SUPER SLEEPER and it’s been MOST magnificent!

Alas–I will recover.  All will be well again.  I’ve missed you all so much!  Just thought I’d update and put all of your worries to rest–I am still alive! 🙂

Time For Your Checkup…

Happy Sunday Everyone!  It’s a partly cloudy day in my Little Corner of the World today.  My hubby is away on Military drill so it’s just me and the girls today!  I’m still not sure what kinds of things we will get ourselves into today–I’m finding it more and more difficult to come up with different things to entertain these two Cuties!

I have to tell you this story!  The other night while at Target my girls were allowed to pick a new toy–very rare for them, but they were being so well behaved that day and with all of the crazy going on in our lives I thought it would be ok to give them a little “pick me up”.  They were overly excited to pick out a toy!  The oldest picked a small Doc McStuffins doll that included a tiny doctor’s bag a few small “tools” to conduct a check-up.  The youngest chose a small Minnie Mouse that rides in a little pink car.

Fast forward to this morning.  The baby is still asleep so it’s just me and my Doc McStuffins lovin’ preschooler hanging out!  She sitting on the kitchen floor playing with her new treasure, the doll the doctor’s bag and a very very tiny otoscope for checking eyes and ears.   I’m sitting quietly sipping on my coffee, catching up on Facebook and listening to her little chatter.  I hear her whispering to our cat Moo.  I look down at her to see what’s she doing.  I then felt the blood rush from my arms–The cat has her rear-end all up in her face and my daughter’s little hand (with tiny otoscope pinched between her pointer finger and thumb) shoved into the cat’s butt fur and she’s whispering, “Ok Moo, time for your checkup…let’s checka butt.”  HOLY NO!

I shrieked!  “NO NO NO!!! Kaka!! We don’t touch the Kitty’s butt!!!”.

It’s not even 9:00am and already she’s been dowsed in soap and hand sanitizer.  I hope this isn’t a prelude to what kind of day we are about to have! 🙂

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

John 16:22

Gingantor Spiders and The Lady That Kills Them…

I am usually composed.  However, I lose control of every function of myself when I see a spider.  I fall to absolute pieces.  Just typing this I have the heebie-jeebies.   I can handle most any other creepy crawly being with the simple “fwack” of a shoe, or Fisher Price toy or insanely large wad of toilet paper…not spiders.  I do not care how large, how small, how hairy or unhairy these eight legged nasties are–they are the devil.

Last night I was watching my Monday night show Mistresses, in the dark, sans babies.  I was munching on some graham crackers and peanut butter in complete (not thinking of anything) Bliss–ALL ALONE!  Out of the corner of my eye something large and dark darted towards the fireplace.  My armpits instantly let loose with sweat!  I quickly pulled my legs up and curled into a fetal position with my blanket over my head! “It’s a SPIDER…It’s a SPIDER”  I took a few deep breaths and slowly lowered the blanket–there the beast was, staring back at me with it’s humungous fangs and beady eyes–the TV reflected in them as we stared one another down in the dark.  Not this time beast, you will not hide and you surely won’t eat me…this Mama’s not going down–at least not without a fight!

Slowly, I placed one foot onto the floor, then the other…it was now or never.  I quickly bee lined it through the kitchen into the hall bathroom and grabbed my can of extra hold hair spray and the can of Lysol!  On my way back through the kitchen I slipped into my flip flops and grabbed the roll of Bounty from the counter.  I paused at the edge of the family room, where the kitchen tile meets the carpeting.  I flipped on the light and spotted my opponent.  The words of Kevin McCallister sounded through my head– “This is my house, and I have to defend it”!!  Armed with heavy artillery, I fought back my fears and crossed the threshold.   War is Raw.  I jumped onto the oversized ottoman…It’s 8 lengthy legs twitched in anticipation.   I popped the lids off of hairspray and Lysol–this thing’s gonna die germ free with great hair!

I knew that once I started spraying it was going to try and make a run for it so I had to be stealthy–here goes nothing.  1-2-3…SPRAY SPRAY SPRAY…I was spraying so hard with both index fingers I could feel them turning purple from all of the pressure!  hahaha!  This creature tried to run…but soon lost speed once I jumped to the floor and started spraying closer and closer…it’s movements soon ceased once the hairspray started to work.  VICTORY WAS MINE!

In my gloating moment of confidence–I felt super sure of myself that I had conquered the enemy.  Yeah, famous last words.  I crept down really close…we were eye to eye.  And then the unspeakable happened…the hairspray WORE OFF and the SPIDER STARTED DARTING FOR MY FACE!!!!  I tried to get up, but I felt like a dog chasing it’s favorite ball across a wet tile floor…I was all arms, legs and feet…flailing body parts a muck!   IT TOUCHED ME–then I went to slapping and beating myself stupid!   I was yelping and squawking and speaking a language that was foreign to my ears….I swear I was speaking in tongues–me and the Holy Ghost were in a serious conversation of sorts…WHY GOD WHY???!!! Why did you create spiders???!!!

I found myself up on the back of the couch…the part I am constantly pulling my 2 year old down from…you know the spot–it’s the “Wooka Meeee Mommy…I gunna jump!!!” spot.  I scanned the room, where did it go?!?!   I stayed upon my perch for nearly 10 minutes and saw zero movement within the family room.  Maybe it crawled into a corner to go in peace?   My adrenaline rush had started to slow and I eased down onto the cushions.  I regained some composure and decided to go in the kitchen and get a drink of water…I was quite parched from all of this crazy that had just occurred…it was all too much for me to wrap my head around.  Somewhere lurking in my house is a sticky spider that has been severely disinfected.

Let’s just say I didn’t sleep well last night…visions of hairy brown spiders danced through my head.   My husband the Army Man must NEVER know of the events that took place.  It’s entirely too embarrassing!!!

What about you?  What creepy crawly are you most afraid of?

VERY MUCH LOOKED LIKE THIS!!!  ICK ICK ICK!!!

“I WEAK”…

The words EVERY Mommy dreads hearing from their tiny toddler’s room at the butt crack of dawn…”MOOOOOMMMMYYYY, OHHHH MOMMMMMYYYY…Hurry Get Me I WEAKED!”

I drag my half awake self into her room this morning, she’s laying there with a huge grin on her face and she cheerfully exclaims, “Hi Mommy, I miss you, I weak!”–her diaper let loose at some point in the night like I’ve never seen before.  Yay.  No coffee for this lady–my whole routine is jacked now.  I had to leave to head to work with no coffee–not a good start to my day!

This brings me to my next frustrating subject–Potty Training.  At 18 months old this little girl of mine wanted to play with the potty, wanted to sit on the potty.  We bought her a potty chair.  We role played her baby going potty.  She was enthralled!  I thought, “YES, this is going to be so easy!” WRONG!  She taunted me for 3 months, pretending to want to potty, but never actually going potty.  Then one day she stopped being interested in the potty.  Today, at 2.5 years old if you even as much as mention, “Do you want to go poo poo/pee pee on the big girl potty?” she freaks out, “NOOO I NOT POTTY!”.  I am not pushing the issue.  I ask once and leave it alone, but what gives?

I don’t even know where to begin…Lord Give me strength!  Any thoughts?

My Husband The Knife Connoisseur…

As I’m rinsing the dishes to load them into the dishwasher this afternoon, the copious amount of knives in the sink really caught my attention.  I rinsed the huge butcher knife (I am too afraid to touch that beast), 3 paring knives, 5 steak knives and a “bread” cutter knife–ALL those knives were used by him in a less than 24 hour period?  Why the butcher knife…I don’t recall any large mammalian carcass being savagely shredded in my kitchen for dinner last night?

My husband is a kitchen knife freak.  The “Iron Chef” within this man comes out…even when cooking eggs for the girls in the mornings.  We have 2 extremely armed knife blocks in our kitchen, and an insane amount of knives without a wooden “home” lurking within the drawers in our kitchen.   Who needs that many knives?  My hubby thinks they are necessary.  I just use one knife to cut EVERYTHING–he absolutely hates me for that!  That one knife is my favorite–dull enough that I know I won’t chop my fingers off and sharp enough to cube potatoes AND it will “almost” nicely cut a tomato (whatever I’m going to eat it anyway…it doesn’t have to be pretty)!

My husband is serious about his knives–he even yells at me for using the glass cutting board instead of the wood one for cutting food, he says it will dull them faster…eh, most times when he’s not around I just used the counter top–shhh!!!   He makes me laugh!  Bustin’ out the HUGE wooden cutting board to chop an onion–WITH the butcher knife! LOL–oh the mental image!

What about you?  Are you a “Knife Connoisseur”?  What about your significant other?

Welp..guess I was wrong about the “Butcher Knife”…it’s technically called a “Chef’s Knife”–hehehe!!!

Fat Pants…

Well…the technical term is “yoga” pants…but in all honesty they really are nothing but fat pants.  They are the only pants that you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to put on after you’ve spent too much time in your skinny jeans chasing your crazy, banchy children around the house, the yard, the car, Target.

I don’t know about you but when I put my “fat” pants on…I almost get the same AMAZING feeling as I do after I peel my bra off after too long of a day.  (Oh yeah I said that…don’t lie either…you know exactly the feeling I am talking about!) It’s pure ZEN once the “fat” pants have been applied to your body.

I have multiple pairs of “fat” pants…but I have only one favorite pair out of the bunch.  That favey pair is like the favorite pillow on the bed that me and my husband fight over on a nightly basis…If I don’t have that ONE pillow my sleep isn’t the same…and wouldn’t you know I have never been able to find another pillow like this one!  These same rules apply to the favorite “fat” pants…when I’m not wearing these pants after a long day…the rest of my evening just doesn’t feel right.

Please share about your “fat” pants…I know that 90% of you own a pair!

Nekkid Babies…

Both girls are nearly in the same size clothes–I don’t even understand how or when this happened?  My oldest is 2–she’s tall and nothing but a string bean.  My youngest is 14 months–she’s VERY tall and nothing but a hefalump!   To describe my youngest is simple–Baby Got Back AND Front!  LOL!

They come from the same gene pool but are total polar opposites of one another: The oldest looks just like me–Auburn hair, blue eyes, she cautious and somewhat shy.  The youngest looks just like her Daddy–Jet Black, crazy curly hair and brown eyes, she’s the risk taker and the center of attention!

It’s almost like having twins with these two cuties.  When they were born–in the same month 12 months apart–I thought to myself, “Ok, cool they will be able to share clothes by season both in different sizes.”  Little did I know that I birthed Andre’ The Giant when she came out weighing in at a whopping 9.5lbs!

Good Lord in Heaven–The oldest is still in 2T barely heading into 3T and the littlest is now in 2T.  I can’t afford this–I can only fathom what the teenage years will be like.   Maybe we could just start our own little Nudist Colony–the girls could run around nakey or even in a loin cloth!  I would save SO much money!   🙂

“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”

Matthew 6:28-30

Tiny Toddler Snack Attack…

There are days when getting fresh fruits and veggies into the mouths of my Little Babes for their snack times is darn near impossible.  Here are some of my go-to, quick grab snacks for the girls!

In our house we eat Gluten Free & Organic–I have Celiac Disease.  It runs crazy in the women in our family–therefore I keep the girls Gluten Free until they are old enough to have the proper testing.   I am also a firm believer that whatever you put into your body your outward self will show it–so we also eat mostly Organic.   The Littles LOVE these snacks–and I know that on days when they are being picky these are an alright substitute.

What are some of your go-to, quick grab snacks for your Littles?

Say YES to the PRESS…

Good Morning Everyone!  This is my feeble attempt at cheerful this A.M.–in reality I’m so completely exhausted!  So I’ve pushed aside the Old Faithful Drip O’Matic Coffee this morning and I had to bust out the BIG GUNS:  French Press

Last night–ALL night–my Littlest Little was up crying off and on–she’s teething. UGH!  I feel awful for her and I’m trying to soothe her as best as I possibly can.  I just wish those blasted things would come in and we can all have more peaceful nights and days.

Anywho, back to French Press–have you ever had it?  It’s my go to fall morning beverage.  I know I’m a little early with the “Fall” talk, but this form of brew is a little stronger than my regular and it’s VERY much needed this morning after being granted only 4 hours of sleep last night.  When I was in my 20’s–before the Littles graced me–I could eat 4 hours of sleep for breakfast, lunch and dinner!  Now that I’m in my 30’s with the 2 girls and countless other responsibilities–4 hours of sleep feels like a parcel of food lodged in my throat!

So here I sit, the girls are quiet eating their morning before breakfast snacks, I’m sipping on my cup of Diesel Fuel and having my morning devotions and praying that God will ever so kindly remove the grumpies and replace my mood with happy thoughts and a more rested attitude!

What are some of the ways you handle teething in your house?

“Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.  My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”

Psalm 63:7-8