Crap Rap…

Hola–yep I’ve been M.I.A…and it’s been good for nothin’.

I had to have emergency surgery–my right ovary ruptured and my fallopian tube and ovary were removed.  BEFORE all of that I had a double kidney infection and a “RIP ROARIN'” uti–both of which I am STILL currently battling!

I don’t even feel human right now, I’ve been living in my Fat Pants, my wifely house “chores” have been taken over by my mother (God Love her–she’s a flippin’ Saint–but I can’t find a blasted thing in my kitchen), I haven’t been able to pick up my girls in over a week.  I’m over it!  One thing I have found–if you ever want to catch up on all of the sleep that you “misplaced” after children–just go to the hospital.  Yes, it’s unfortunate that you have to have physical harm to your body in order to get sleep–and it’s unfortunate that all of this has occurred and this surely isn’t for the faint of heart–but man have I slept!! I mean I have become a SUPER SLEEPER and it’s been MOST magnificent!

Alas–I will recover.  All will be well again.  I’ve missed you all so much!  Just thought I’d update and put all of your worries to rest–I am still alive! 🙂

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My Husband The Knife Connoisseur…

As I’m rinsing the dishes to load them into the dishwasher this afternoon, the copious amount of knives in the sink really caught my attention.  I rinsed the huge butcher knife (I am too afraid to touch that beast), 3 paring knives, 5 steak knives and a “bread” cutter knife–ALL those knives were used by him in a less than 24 hour period?  Why the butcher knife…I don’t recall any large mammalian carcass being savagely shredded in my kitchen for dinner last night?

My husband is a kitchen knife freak.  The “Iron Chef” within this man comes out…even when cooking eggs for the girls in the mornings.  We have 2 extremely armed knife blocks in our kitchen, and an insane amount of knives without a wooden “home” lurking within the drawers in our kitchen.   Who needs that many knives?  My hubby thinks they are necessary.  I just use one knife to cut EVERYTHING–he absolutely hates me for that!  That one knife is my favorite–dull enough that I know I won’t chop my fingers off and sharp enough to cube potatoes AND it will “almost” nicely cut a tomato (whatever I’m going to eat it anyway…it doesn’t have to be pretty)!

My husband is serious about his knives–he even yells at me for using the glass cutting board instead of the wood one for cutting food, he says it will dull them faster…eh, most times when he’s not around I just used the counter top–shhh!!!   He makes me laugh!  Bustin’ out the HUGE wooden cutting board to chop an onion–WITH the butcher knife! LOL–oh the mental image!

What about you?  Are you a “Knife Connoisseur”?  What about your significant other?

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Welp..guess I was wrong about the “Butcher Knife”…it’s technically called a “Chef’s Knife”–hehehe!!!

Fat Pants…

Well…the technical term is “yoga” pants…but in all honesty they really are nothing but fat pants.  They are the only pants that you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to put on after you’ve spent too much time in your skinny jeans chasing your crazy, banchy children around the house, the yard, the car, Target.

I don’t know about you but when I put my “fat” pants on…I almost get the same AMAZING feeling as I do after I peel my bra off after too long of a day.  (Oh yeah I said that…don’t lie either…you know exactly the feeling I am talking about!) It’s pure ZEN once the “fat” pants have been applied to your body.

I have multiple pairs of “fat” pants…but I have only one favorite pair out of the bunch.  That favey pair is like the favorite pillow on the bed that me and my husband fight over on a nightly basis…If I don’t have that ONE pillow my sleep isn’t the same…and wouldn’t you know I have never been able to find another pillow like this one!  These same rules apply to the favorite “fat” pants…when I’m not wearing these pants after a long day…the rest of my evening just doesn’t feel right.

Please share about your “fat” pants…I know that 90% of you own a pair!

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Ha…Like I HAVE time…

As I stood in my kitchen on this fine August morning, Sesame Street roaring in the background, a sink full of dishes staring back at me and the girls scattering toys around the family room–I think to myself, “Hmmm…I should start a blog!”.  So here I am, the always “not enough time”, yoga pants wearing, poopy diaper changing, can’t stay on top of the laundry Mom…starting a blog.  I’m probably ready for a diagnosis of “Medically Insane”…Lord help me!  

I guess I just need an outlet.  HAHAHA!  Yeah, that’s it!  I need to put all of my borderline crazy thoughts out onto the internet for all of you to read and laugh at!

My life…hmmm…well it’s not just mine anymore, I’ve traded in all of the “Me” time, my stilettos, my manicures, my sanity and oh let’s not forget about my “figure”…well I’ve traded those things and more in for a husband (with whom I am madly in love with), a two story colonial in the suburbs, 2 cats and 2 crazy, beautiful, little girls that are 12 months apart–(SURPRISE…you really are fertile after you have a baby!)  I wouldn’t trade it, change it or go back and do anything different…I have found that God really does answer your prayers, in HIS own time and on HIS own terms!   I’m a hot mess MOST of the time…and I’m learning how to juggle it all and even get a shower in on a daily basis (I’m still trying to master this feat!).

This blog will probably be an ever evolving project…just like me and this crazy life!  In the midst of all of this crazy that surrounds me–“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”-Philippians 4:13